Financially irresponsible son borrows $50.000 dollars from parents, refuses to pay them back, and spends money on vacations and expensive cars: 'He accuses us of being greedy'

Author image for Giuliana Tiscioni
Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer
Sep 22, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

A loan is a loan, not a gift. That applies to the bank and our families alike. 

That is something many people don't understand, especially when the loan comes from a parent. They think that just because it's their parents lending them money, they can get away with giving nothing back. Parents are supposed to take care of their children; that's true, but not when they are already adults who are supposed to be financially responsible for themselves. 

In this case, the parents lent their son $50.000 dollars to buy a house. He was supposed to give back the money over the course of 10 years, so it wouldn't be a burden. The parents did that with their other daughters, and it worked wonderfully, but not with him. Apparently, he's a very financially irresponsible man. He has credit card debts and other loans with the bank, and yet he spends his money on expensive vacations, buying a new pickup truck, and eating out constantly. He refuses to pay back his parents, accusing them of being greedy and trying to destroy his family. The parents regret lending him money, and their other daughters are furious at them for doing it, especially because they made sure to pay their debts.

Here, they have at least two options. The first one is to seek legal advice and force the son to pay them back. They had a contract, and he's not abiding by it, so the parents are perfectly entitled to let the justice system take over. The second option is to let it go. But not just let him get away with it; no, no, they can cut him off his will. Since he refuses to pay them back, they can decide he has already received his inheritance and not give him another single penny ever again. Sounds fair, right? If the guy is going to choose to be irresponsible about his finances, he can take the consequences of it. 

What do you think? Would you let it go or force him to pay you back? Can you think about any other solution for these parents? 

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  • AITAH for insisting our son pay back a loan?

    Mom of five adult children. To make a long story short, we lent our son and his wife $50,000 to put down on a home. The terms we drew up was that after a one year
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  • AGREEMENT 9000900
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Signing a contract for a loan to buy a house.

    Stock photography for depiction only.

  • over 10 years with no interest, except that any late payments would incur a 20% interest fee. We did this for two of our daughters and it worked just fine, both paid
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  • us back fully within 6 or 7 years. However, our son has always struggled with responsibility and making wise choices and a big part of me had reservations about this
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  • loan. My husband said we had to be fair with all the kids, so we did it. After the one year grace period, our son began to pay us back but frequently griped to us about how
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  • it was so hard to scrape up the money with the new baby, job changes, leaky roof, whatever. I felt bad taking his money, but he's 29
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  • and this was our deal. I still would bring them groceries, diapers, formula, etc. to help out. The first year, they paid us $3,200-
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  • so $1800 dollars short and we attached a 20% fee to the late funds. He then got angry with us for that, even though it was written
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  • in our loan contract and he said we were "stealing food out of (the baby's) mouth." This is my grandson and we adore him, again I felt awful.
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  • The second year our son lost his job and told us he needed a pause on the loan, and he never paid us back anything. He was now $6,800 in arrears. Got a new job and one
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  • night my husband sat him and his wife down and told them that while we loved them both very much, we needed them to take this loan as
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  • seriously as if it were from a bank. That's when they disclosed that they were also in arrears with the bank and several credit cards. Meanwhile, they had taken a
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  • vacation to Mexico and to Vegas and bought a brand new pickup truck and my daughter in law picks up takeout almost every night.
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  • WELCOME TO Fabulous LAS VEGAS NEVADA
    via Wesley Tingey For Unsplash+

    Las Vegas.

    Representative only.

  • It is now year 3 and he has only paid $500 so far this year. Anytime we mention the loan he screams at us and tells us we are trying to
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  • Cheezburger Image 10665409024
    via Tycho Atsma for Unsplash+

    The son yelling at his parents. 

    Model portrayal.

  • destroy his family and starve his kids (so not the case.) He accuses us of being greedy and not really needing the money back. He has
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  • claimed that we are toxic and contributing to his poor mental health with all the stress. This last weekend they told us that they are
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  • considering going no contact because we keep pushing their boundaries and are starting to negatively impact his family. We don't bring it up constantly, we are careful to only mention it once every 2-3 Mos.
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  • The whole situation makes me sick and I desperately wish we had not lent the money. It is such a sore subject, and our older daughters are now also angry with us for
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  • lending him the money to begin with. They paid their loans back afterall. They want us to get a judgment against our son. I just want family peace and I'm wondering if I should just write off
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  • the loan and let it go. AITA for expecting my son to make good on a contract we both signed, or should I just let it go? Yes, I know I am an idiot for lending money.
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